Here Come The Girls!

13th - 15th November 2015
Edinburgh, Scotland

Hen Weekend is officially sorted - flights and apartment booked! Thank you to all my lovely friends for confirming so easily and for making the whole process pretty pain-free.  I'm so happy with my brood of hens  - I know we're going to have a fab weekend!

19 Weeks down & 32 Weeks to go.

It's all been a bit quiet on the blogging front...

Everything has been a bit crazy here.  We've both had our birthdays (another year older, not one bit wiser) and we've been throwing ourselves into work.  Michael is working all the overtime he can get his hands on which is mostly night shifts and everything in my office has sped up and taken off - there's lots to keep up with and I find myself at my desk earlier and earlier each day. 

Now that we have all the important things booked and deposits paid, we've been taking a bit more of a relaxed attitude to the wedding planning.  We can finally focus on the fun stuff - the décor, the outfits, the cake... which all happen to be the most over-whelming!  As everyone knows, when the "w" word is mentioned, they add another zero or two onto the end of prices and I'm really struggling to understand why anyone would charge, let alone pay, £500 for a simple, plain white cake. 

The most interesting part is the discussions you have with people who are also getting married.  Everyone's attitude to weddings are so different.  Some of my friends wouldn't bat an eyelid at paying £500 for a cake, "it's the most important day of your life", but I think that mentality is a wee bit mad. I imagine we'll probably club our female family members together and bake our cake ourselves.  It would be so easy to get carried away with the planning of the Reception party but as a couple, we both want to focus our finances on our trip.  The idea of spending thousands of pounds on just one day gives us both palpitations so it makes much more sense for us to put the same amount of our savings into a 2-week trip instead. 

Saying that, it's been more difficult than we thought to save money on the lead up to New York - life goes on, and every single month there has been something whether it's unexpected veterinary bills, a birthday, a holiday we booked before we were engaged...it's honestly been one thing after the other.  We have some friends that are also getting married this year, so that's been costly too.  We're burrowing every bit of spare cash away in our money pots (quite often stumbling into the house after drunken nights out and throwing in far more than we can afford) and we've been gifted some US dollars too which is so great.  I'm off to Mallorca on a friend's Hen party this week and once I'm home I hope to really buckle down and get back on track with saving as this month has been a bit of a write-off. 

It's so hard to believe that 5 months have passed already.  It's been interesting looking back and seeing how our plans are changing as we go along. If I could rewind a bit and change anything I think I would have given us a little bit more time to save.  But at the same time, it just can't come quick enough - we genuinely cannot wait to get married!  We get such big smiles on our faces when we talk about it.  Michael is really interested in getting more involved with the plans - we talk about it a lot and spend evenings pouring over invitation samples and gift lists and I'm quickly learning to back off when his eyes start glazing over and he's stifling yawns...

The funny thing is, I've generally been finding it really difficult to talk about.  I'm a complete Awkward Annie when anyone asks me questions about the wedding. The only people I really feel comfortable talking about it with are my family and my friends that are planning weddings too.  I think this comes from being cripplingly self-aware (Laura will understand this!) and I know that wedding talk is mind-numbingly boring to most who are likely only asking out of politeness.  I tend to just direct people to my blog for updates if they're interested - with over 1600 views, I know that someone out there is tuning in (Hi Mum!).

We've booked a couple fun surprises for the Reception which we're really excited about.  We're still so delighted with our choice of venue and music and I think we're close to picking our food option too.  We want everything to be free and easy and comfortable for everyone there, we just want to throw a huge party and celebrate properly. I'm beyond grateful at how many people are traveling from England etc for the night - it's going to be a bit of a reunion with some of my friends I met while traveling and I'm almost more excited to see them than I am about getting married...ha!  Thanks to those who have booked their hotel room already - showing some real commitment, guys!

We'll hopefully pick our invitations some day soon (hardest job in the world by the way...) and have them sent out in the Summer and we'll get our gift list launched too. That's something we're having a lot of fun working on as it's a little bit different from the standard wedding gift list (and completely optional, of course, we don't need anything apart from your attendance!) There's also my very own Hen Party to plan - a terrifying thought.  There are plenty of little activities buzzing away in the background, just not that much to blog about without giving everything away.  I like to check in every now and again and write a little about where we're at with the planning - it might make for fun reading for us one day when it's all a distant memory.  What a fun thing to be able to show your daughter or daughter-in-law one day.  
Oh how they'll cringe...

New York Wedding Ceremony - Booked.

So today we signed a contract with our favourite photographer of all the ones we spoke to/ trawled the website and blogs of/practically stalked - and we couldn't be happier! Meet our photographer here: Amber Marlow Photography

Amber lives in Brooklyn and has been super keen to shoot our Christmas Eve wedding and to act as our witness.  Her fiancé Marley is also going to come along to conduct our Humanist Ceremony - so we've managed to score a bit of a package deal which absolutely suits us down to the ground! Amber's photos are so amazing. We're very keen to have photos that mainly focus on the City itself with us casually thrown in somewhere! We have a list of really awesome places we could hold our ceremony, some of them weather-permitting!  At the moment we've discussed using the gorgeous roof terrace in our very own hotel in Tribeca.  Which looks like this:

The very best part of this terrace is the view.  We'd have the entire Empire State skyline as the backdrop to our ceremony - you can see live webcam footage of the view from the terrace right here: Sheraton Tribeca View Cam which I am slightly obsessed with.  The only obstacle may be accessing the terrace if it's seasonal, but I imagine a smile and maybe a folded note would get us access for the super short ceremony and a few snaps.  If we do get there and decide that the terrace isn't going to work after all, I know that Amber will be able to suggest somewhere else that's really awesome instead.  No worries there. So we're all pleased with the latest developments and the new direction we're going with our New York Ceremony. 

Here are some of Amber's gorgeous photographs below - (I really hope she doesn't mind- they're fab!)

All images by Amber Marlow

NYC Ceremony Dilemma

I've been humming that old Kelly Rowland & Nelly song for the past few days because I have uncovered quite the dilemma after speaking to many, many New Yorkers this week. 

We have been scouring the interweb for elopement photographers in the City - so many to choose from - and have got chatting to quite a few who have been more than willing to listen to our plans and make suggestions.  All but one suggested, to our initial despair, that we scrap the idea of getting married in City Hall. As we had suspected all along, the queues are likely to be insane as Christmas Eve is an incredibly popular date to get married in New York.  The idea of City Hall being super busy put us off a little bit - we want something more quiet, private and less of a fuss than that.

We're still very much of the opinion that a marriage ceremony is between two people, our vows are for us and between us, and we don't feel the need for anyone else to be there.  We do, of course, want our loved ones there to celebrate with us afterwards - but I love the idea that the ceremony is just between Michael and I.  No fuss, just us.

We were also a bit concerned about only having 2 days in which to have our ceremony, and the thought of something cropping up while we're there which means the City Hall option isn't going to work gives us both major anxiety!  With the City Hall option, it's very much turn up, take a ticket, and wait in line until you're called.  The idea of having a date and time booked is very appealing with this new insight!

After speaking to many different photographers, we're getting more and more excited about the different locations and backdrops available to us for our photographs.  As two very un-photogenic and awkward people when it comes to getting our photo taken, we are looking for someone who can make us feel really relaxed and who can snap a few candid shots where we don't have to stand and pose!  We feel it's important to have a few shots of the actual ceremony, and a video too so that we can show our family and friends.

A few of the photographers were really focused on the fact that we're getting married on Christmas Eve - and were looking to charge us a premium for it being a holiday - they also rambled on about photos being taken in front of Christmas Trees and various other Christmas themed shoots - and this is totally not what we want.  Yes, we know we're getting married on Christmas Eve, but no, it is not a Christmas themed wedding.  We picked Christmas Eve as we were engaged on Christmas Eve, and New York is completely magical at that time of year.  It was important for us that there was a bit of a buzz about the place, an added bit of excitement in the air - to help dispel any anticlimactic feelings following the ceremony when the realisation hits that no one will be there to celebrate  with us immediately after, which, we know, is a possibility.  We plan to have a full day planned after the ceremony to avoid this - possibly a Broadway show or something fun after a really lovely dinner. 

So with all this in mind, we've had to narrow it down and pick a photographer and celebrant for our little ceremony.  Once this is booked - we're over half way there!  Exciting!

I can't say "I Do" without these two.

I always knew at the back of my mind who I would want standing beside me when I marry Michael. However, when our plans changed and we decided to elope we both decided we weren't going to have all the traditional wedding "nonsense" - including a bridal party.  We weren't sure there was a point in "appointing" a bridal party when we were getting married on our own and they wouldn't be there.  As we continued to plan, it became evident that I needed (and wanted) a couple of my closest family and friends to help with plans, to bounce ideas off, to drag to bridal fairs, dress fittings and cake testings.  I also needed someone to be in charge of a bridal shower or Hen party of course! Planning a wedding is quite a girly thing to do and while Michael is really helpful and enthusiastic about the whole thing, I'm super conscious of boring the life out of him with bridetalk.

I later decided that I needed "sort of" bridesmaids to help me through the journey. Plus, the thinly disguised looks of disappointment on two particular little faces when I told them I wasn't having bridesmaids left me feeling guilty as sin...

It was a no brainer that I would have my sister, Laura.  She's the Tia to my Tamara. The sensible little sister that forever keeps me grounded when I get a little goofy and stupid, who shares the exact same sense of humour as me, who keeps a whole mental catalogue of the most ridiculous little memories of our childhood together. We have a sometimes extremely creepy "sista sista" (as we call it) brain link that only the 2 of us can vouch for. She knows me inside out while still managing to keep an air of mystery about herself. She's the "pretty sister" who carries herself with a level of class and sophistication (sans wine) that I've never quite managed and I need her to steer me in the right directions when it comes to wedding stuff. For sure. Even though she works unbelieveably hard and we don't see eachother as often as I'd like she's forever just a whatsapp away when I need to run something past her. I always feel ridiculously self-indulgent bombarding her with pictures of dresses and cakes and candles when she has a thousand more important things to worry about but she always responds with her honest opinion and to be honest, if Laura says "no" you can guarantee the idea will be scrapped immediately. If we were given a spare ticket to New York with us, I'd give it to Laura.

When Michael and I first began dating, I obviously indulged in the obligitory Facebook stalk of his friends and family. (We all do it, behave yourself.) And there was one family member that scared the living daylights right out of me.  The vampiric Miss Megan Archer. On our dates we used to walk past the shop that she worked in and I would beg Michael not to introduce us. I'd heard stories about her ripping mens hearts out and feeding them to her Jack Russell (only joking) but as Michael's ballsy little sister, I was petrified of her. I think all I wanted was for her to like me and it seemed like we were worlds apart personality-wise. This story always has the two of us in kinks nowadays - we couldn't have got on better.  It's rare that a day goes by where we haven't been in contact. In just a few years we've had some amazing ups and horrendous downs but I couldn't imagine not having her as part of this. She's as goofy as I am and our conversations about the wedding often escalate into the ridiculous (last week we were discussing how cool it would be to have Michael ride into the reception on a Polar Bear) but she's enthusiastic when I need her to be and happily accompanied us to the wedding fair, reveled in telling everyone she was a bridesmaid, let me use her back as a writing desk when filling in details forms as well as springing to action by offering to carry all the leaflets and books I was collecting as we went. Her ability to keep me excited about wedding stuff is much needed and appreciated. I'm really excited to be gaining another little sister.

So, keeping 'er casual as always, I just wanted to write a little card and a letter to both girls to ask them for their help throughout the planning process and to take the opportunity to let them know how much they mean to me. I had some silly pictures of us together printed on the front for banters sakes and wrote a letter inside. What's life without a little cheese, eh?

The Quirky Weddings Fair

I had stumbled upon a flyer for The Quirky Wedding's Alternative Fair a couple months ago and made a mental note to stop by and take a look. We ended up making a bit of a day of it as I was joined by Michael, Megan (Michael's sister and my bridesmaid), my mum (Wendy) and Tracey (Michael's mum). It was the first time our motherbears got to meet, so it was a nice distraction from any awkwardness - not that there was any - everyone got on just fine! Both mums are very artistic with my mum being a florist and Tracey being a keen crafter so their input was very welcome (and important to us!) 

So we all piled into Mum's car and journeyed to the Waterfront Hall in Belfast.  We were among the first 500 there so we got in half price - yay!  Once we'd been given our luminous pink wristbands, much to Michael's despair, we were off!  The place was so loud - we were greeted by one of the singing waiters I've seen advertised.  Opera singing his heart out as he waltzed around the foyer of the Waterfront - pretty annoying if you ask me - and everyone else judging by the looks on everyone's faces. It took us a while to get into the swing of things.  It was so busy and it was difficult getting anywhere near close to each exhibition. 

Mum loved having a good creep at the various florists who had turned up to exhibit their work and Tracey loved looking at all the invitations and other wedding-y crafts.  Megan was getting heavily involved most of the cakes exhibits - she fell head over heels (rather like Alice did...) in love with a giant Alice in Wonderland themed cake.  Michael was accosted by a man who tried to get him talking about suits and it dawned on me how little I'm looking forward to getting him suited and booted as he's so incredibly fussy when it comes to clothing.  We had a few photographers ask us what our photography plans are - and we explained that we haven't quite decided if we should have photos taken or not at the reception party.

The reactions we had to our New York plans were great - everyone thought it sounded magical. In all honesty, there weren't too many exhibits that were relevant to our wedding plans.  Everyone seems to be going for the rustic themed wedding, which makes us glad that we're going down a different route. It seems that every wedding in the next year or two will be adorned with bird cages, rusty bicycles, bunting and cupcakes! The fair helped secure in our minds that we're doing the right thing being that little bit different from most.

Exhibitors that stuck in my mind included a lady who makes bespoke pearl jewellery and head bands.  I would love a custom pearl brooch made for my dress - and I can't wait to discuss it with them. Michael and I also spoke to a lady who made amazing homemade marshmallows - flavours I've never seen before.  Gin and Tonic being a fave!  She was really into the New York theme and was firing ideas at us that we loved! Marshmallows are Michael's ultimate favourites, so would maybe be a nice touch somewhere.  Who knows.  We also got a few ideas for the Hen party too. Leaving that one up to Laura (my sister/Maid of Honour) and Megan! 

We also tried on wedding bands for the first time.  Michael has this look of pure pride and excitement on his face when he tried one on.  We'd both never seen him with a ring on before, so it was strange to see and made it seem even more real.  As it turns out, I may have to get a custom made band made especially for my engagement ring.  But that's okay.  Something very simple and classic will suit me just fine!

There was an exhibit for casino tables etc. Michael got particular excited about having a Roulette table at our wedding to represent the Vegas part of our honeymoon. I, however, was not so keen! His excitement soon dwindled when he realised he hadn't a clue how Roulette works and his attention was quickly diverted when something else caught his eye instead. Probably cake. We met our wedding coordinator Lisa Marie at the Malone Lodge Hotel exhibit and had a good natter with her. Looking forward to taking Megan and everyone else down for a nosey at the hotel and the suite to give them all an idea of what we're working with as we're planning the décor.

We managed to pick up lots of flyer's, business cards and catalogues along the way and we entered some competitions too.  Big thanks to Megan who entered me into a competition to win some of the worlds ugliest balloons for my wedding.  As someone who can't stand balloons at weddings, this wasn't much appreciated!!  Once we'd seen everything the 5 of us went for a late lunch/dinner together for a glass or two of wine and a chat before home. It turned out to be a really great day and Michael and I felt even more secure in choosing to elope.  Weddings are cringey as hell - being referred to as "the bride and groom" all day was so strange - we're really not into the whole wedding thing! We still enjoyed having a look around and grabbing some tips. 

Definitely worthwhile!

New York, New York!

Firstly, Happy Valentine's Day from both of us!  

We've had a fantastic day so far.  Michael thankfully has the weekend off so we were able to wake up together and exchange our gifts.  We're both self-confessed "haters" of Valentine's Day, but somehow always manage to spoil each other every year!  We started the day off on a high with bunches of red roses, red velvet cake and chocolates for breakfast and Michael announced that he'd bought us steaks for dinner and that he'd be cooking - yay!

We wanted to do something a little special to mark our first Valentine's Day as an engaged couple - so figured we'd do something related to the wedding. We decided to head out into the cold and visit a few travel agents to get some quotes for flights to New York. The plan was to shop around a little and get some quotes and maybe put down a deposit and come back later to pay them off.  Our plans were dashed a little when the first travel agent broke the news to us that if we were booking flights only we would have to pay the whole amount upon time of booking. Annoying.

The first quote we got was great, about £200 cheaper than I had priced myself online, but we were still a little short on the whole amount so we had to walk away.  The second travel agent however was able to offer us an even cheaper deal on the flights - and as luck would have it - we had exactly enough cash with us and we were able to pay them off straight away.  

So, it's official - we're going to NEW YORK and LAS VEGAS this DECEMBER! 

No going back now - we have our seats booked on the plane and we're officially getting married in New York City!!  

We have our hotels booked provisionally on booking.com and we're really happy with the hotels we've chosen.  I'll probably still keep an eye out on deals coming out throughout the year, so can change hotels if and when we want as our bookings are all free to cancel or change.  We managed to get the exact dates we wanted so we're spending Christmas in New York City and flying out to Las Vegas to celebrate our honeymoon over New Years Eve.

We'll be leaving for NYC on the 21st December 2015 and will be returning to Belfast on 3rd January 2016 (my Motherbear's birthday - her new son-in-law can be her present HA)  We'll have just less than a week to prepare ourselves for our Reception in Malone Lodge Hotel on 9th January before settling into married life as Mr and Mrs Archer :) Champagne to celebrate tonight! We've been jumping for joy all day - can't believe we're booked!!

Engagement

After 4 years of being together and surviving some pretty tough times it's been pretty clear to us for quite some time that we're in it for the long haul.  
 
We've created two very happy homes together and adopted a kitten and a bunny that we (lets be honest here) treat as if they are our babies. We've supported each other through all our ups and downs; 2013 was a particularly trying year where we both lost our jobs at the same time and believe me, if we made it through that we can make it through anything!  I even took off for 8 months traveling around the world at the very beginning of our relationship and we were in contact every single day by whatever means we could. £200 phone bill included!  We can honestly say that we're best buds and after so long together we're still as excited to see each other than we were when we first got together. We're beyond delighted that we're engaged and are really looking forward to being husband and wife.

The proposal was lovely.  He got down on one knee in our new home on Christmas Eve while we were sitting in front of the Christmas Tree and the open fire, sipping on mulled wine and watching the 1985 version of The Santa Claus - so cosy and relaxed and perfect.

I don't think I've ever drank as much Cava and Champagne in all my life than I did this Christmas.  Definitely not complaining though.

Everyone has been so kind and thoughtful - we didn't expect any gifts or cards especially as it was so close to Christmas but everyone really spoiled us.  Thank you to all our family and friends who texted, messaged, called or stopped by to congratulate us.

Beginnings.

Like millions of newly engaged couples in this day and age, we quite fancied the idea of beginning a diary to keep track of our wedding planning. Our wedding will be something a little bit different from the norm  - we're planning an elopement!  

 

I (Rachel) am no stranger to keeping track of experiences and milestones throughout my life whether it's on Facebook, Twitter or on blogging sites (some public, most private).  As a committed "memory collector" I take photos of absolutely everything and I write about them too.  There's something so lovely about being able to look back on what your thoughts and feelings were at a certain time.  Through this diary we'll be able to track our plans and see how much they've evolved and changed throughout the planning process - the things that went right, the things that went wrong and the things that happened differently than expected.

My main aim in life has always been to spend my present making sure that my past is worth looking back on.  I'm a self-confessed over-document-er and proud.  On Christmas Eve 2014 my partner of 4 years (Michael) got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of his life with him - one of the most special moments of my life - and we've since been launched at full-speed towards marriage and I want to record every moment. 

Having been surrounded by weddings my entire life thanks to my Mum being the best wedding florist/planner around, I'm not your typical Bridezilla (yet..) and I am taking a more chilled out, non-traditional approach to the Big Day.

If wedding stuff isn't for you - look away now - why are you even here?! 

- Rachel