NYC Ceremony Dilemma

I've been humming that old Kelly Rowland & Nelly song for the past few days because I have uncovered quite the dilemma after speaking to many, many New Yorkers this week. 

We have been scouring the interweb for elopement photographers in the City - so many to choose from - and have got chatting to quite a few who have been more than willing to listen to our plans and make suggestions.  All but one suggested, to our initial despair, that we scrap the idea of getting married in City Hall. As we had suspected all along, the queues are likely to be insane as Christmas Eve is an incredibly popular date to get married in New York.  The idea of City Hall being super busy put us off a little bit - we want something more quiet, private and less of a fuss than that.

We're still very much of the opinion that a marriage ceremony is between two people, our vows are for us and between us, and we don't feel the need for anyone else to be there.  We do, of course, want our loved ones there to celebrate with us afterwards - but I love the idea that the ceremony is just between Michael and I.  No fuss, just us.

We were also a bit concerned about only having 2 days in which to have our ceremony, and the thought of something cropping up while we're there which means the City Hall option isn't going to work gives us both major anxiety!  With the City Hall option, it's very much turn up, take a ticket, and wait in line until you're called.  The idea of having a date and time booked is very appealing with this new insight!

After speaking to many different photographers, we're getting more and more excited about the different locations and backdrops available to us for our photographs.  As two very un-photogenic and awkward people when it comes to getting our photo taken, we are looking for someone who can make us feel really relaxed and who can snap a few candid shots where we don't have to stand and pose!  We feel it's important to have a few shots of the actual ceremony, and a video too so that we can show our family and friends.

A few of the photographers were really focused on the fact that we're getting married on Christmas Eve - and were looking to charge us a premium for it being a holiday - they also rambled on about photos being taken in front of Christmas Trees and various other Christmas themed shoots - and this is totally not what we want.  Yes, we know we're getting married on Christmas Eve, but no, it is not a Christmas themed wedding.  We picked Christmas Eve as we were engaged on Christmas Eve, and New York is completely magical at that time of year.  It was important for us that there was a bit of a buzz about the place, an added bit of excitement in the air - to help dispel any anticlimactic feelings following the ceremony when the realisation hits that no one will be there to celebrate  with us immediately after, which, we know, is a possibility.  We plan to have a full day planned after the ceremony to avoid this - possibly a Broadway show or something fun after a really lovely dinner. 

So with all this in mind, we've had to narrow it down and pick a photographer and celebrant for our little ceremony.  Once this is booked - we're over half way there!  Exciting!

I can't say "I Do" without these two.

I always knew at the back of my mind who I would want standing beside me when I marry Michael. However, when our plans changed and we decided to elope we both decided we weren't going to have all the traditional wedding "nonsense" - including a bridal party.  We weren't sure there was a point in "appointing" a bridal party when we were getting married on our own and they wouldn't be there.  As we continued to plan, it became evident that I needed (and wanted) a couple of my closest family and friends to help with plans, to bounce ideas off, to drag to bridal fairs, dress fittings and cake testings.  I also needed someone to be in charge of a bridal shower or Hen party of course! Planning a wedding is quite a girly thing to do and while Michael is really helpful and enthusiastic about the whole thing, I'm super conscious of boring the life out of him with bridetalk.

I later decided that I needed "sort of" bridesmaids to help me through the journey. Plus, the thinly disguised looks of disappointment on two particular little faces when I told them I wasn't having bridesmaids left me feeling guilty as sin...

It was a no brainer that I would have my sister, Laura.  She's the Tia to my Tamara. The sensible little sister that forever keeps me grounded when I get a little goofy and stupid, who shares the exact same sense of humour as me, who keeps a whole mental catalogue of the most ridiculous little memories of our childhood together. We have a sometimes extremely creepy "sista sista" (as we call it) brain link that only the 2 of us can vouch for. She knows me inside out while still managing to keep an air of mystery about herself. She's the "pretty sister" who carries herself with a level of class and sophistication (sans wine) that I've never quite managed and I need her to steer me in the right directions when it comes to wedding stuff. For sure. Even though she works unbelieveably hard and we don't see eachother as often as I'd like she's forever just a whatsapp away when I need to run something past her. I always feel ridiculously self-indulgent bombarding her with pictures of dresses and cakes and candles when she has a thousand more important things to worry about but she always responds with her honest opinion and to be honest, if Laura says "no" you can guarantee the idea will be scrapped immediately. If we were given a spare ticket to New York with us, I'd give it to Laura.

When Michael and I first began dating, I obviously indulged in the obligitory Facebook stalk of his friends and family. (We all do it, behave yourself.) And there was one family member that scared the living daylights right out of me.  The vampiric Miss Megan Archer. On our dates we used to walk past the shop that she worked in and I would beg Michael not to introduce us. I'd heard stories about her ripping mens hearts out and feeding them to her Jack Russell (only joking) but as Michael's ballsy little sister, I was petrified of her. I think all I wanted was for her to like me and it seemed like we were worlds apart personality-wise. This story always has the two of us in kinks nowadays - we couldn't have got on better.  It's rare that a day goes by where we haven't been in contact. In just a few years we've had some amazing ups and horrendous downs but I couldn't imagine not having her as part of this. She's as goofy as I am and our conversations about the wedding often escalate into the ridiculous (last week we were discussing how cool it would be to have Michael ride into the reception on a Polar Bear) but she's enthusiastic when I need her to be and happily accompanied us to the wedding fair, reveled in telling everyone she was a bridesmaid, let me use her back as a writing desk when filling in details forms as well as springing to action by offering to carry all the leaflets and books I was collecting as we went. Her ability to keep me excited about wedding stuff is much needed and appreciated. I'm really excited to be gaining another little sister.

So, keeping 'er casual as always, I just wanted to write a little card and a letter to both girls to ask them for their help throughout the planning process and to take the opportunity to let them know how much they mean to me. I had some silly pictures of us together printed on the front for banters sakes and wrote a letter inside. What's life without a little cheese, eh?

The Quirky Weddings Fair

I had stumbled upon a flyer for The Quirky Wedding's Alternative Fair a couple months ago and made a mental note to stop by and take a look. We ended up making a bit of a day of it as I was joined by Michael, Megan (Michael's sister and my bridesmaid), my mum (Wendy) and Tracey (Michael's mum). It was the first time our motherbears got to meet, so it was a nice distraction from any awkwardness - not that there was any - everyone got on just fine! Both mums are very artistic with my mum being a florist and Tracey being a keen crafter so their input was very welcome (and important to us!) 

So we all piled into Mum's car and journeyed to the Waterfront Hall in Belfast.  We were among the first 500 there so we got in half price - yay!  Once we'd been given our luminous pink wristbands, much to Michael's despair, we were off!  The place was so loud - we were greeted by one of the singing waiters I've seen advertised.  Opera singing his heart out as he waltzed around the foyer of the Waterfront - pretty annoying if you ask me - and everyone else judging by the looks on everyone's faces. It took us a while to get into the swing of things.  It was so busy and it was difficult getting anywhere near close to each exhibition. 

Mum loved having a good creep at the various florists who had turned up to exhibit their work and Tracey loved looking at all the invitations and other wedding-y crafts.  Megan was getting heavily involved most of the cakes exhibits - she fell head over heels (rather like Alice did...) in love with a giant Alice in Wonderland themed cake.  Michael was accosted by a man who tried to get him talking about suits and it dawned on me how little I'm looking forward to getting him suited and booted as he's so incredibly fussy when it comes to clothing.  We had a few photographers ask us what our photography plans are - and we explained that we haven't quite decided if we should have photos taken or not at the reception party.

The reactions we had to our New York plans were great - everyone thought it sounded magical. In all honesty, there weren't too many exhibits that were relevant to our wedding plans.  Everyone seems to be going for the rustic themed wedding, which makes us glad that we're going down a different route. It seems that every wedding in the next year or two will be adorned with bird cages, rusty bicycles, bunting and cupcakes! The fair helped secure in our minds that we're doing the right thing being that little bit different from most.

Exhibitors that stuck in my mind included a lady who makes bespoke pearl jewellery and head bands.  I would love a custom pearl brooch made for my dress - and I can't wait to discuss it with them. Michael and I also spoke to a lady who made amazing homemade marshmallows - flavours I've never seen before.  Gin and Tonic being a fave!  She was really into the New York theme and was firing ideas at us that we loved! Marshmallows are Michael's ultimate favourites, so would maybe be a nice touch somewhere.  Who knows.  We also got a few ideas for the Hen party too. Leaving that one up to Laura (my sister/Maid of Honour) and Megan! 

We also tried on wedding bands for the first time.  Michael has this look of pure pride and excitement on his face when he tried one on.  We'd both never seen him with a ring on before, so it was strange to see and made it seem even more real.  As it turns out, I may have to get a custom made band made especially for my engagement ring.  But that's okay.  Something very simple and classic will suit me just fine!

There was an exhibit for casino tables etc. Michael got particular excited about having a Roulette table at our wedding to represent the Vegas part of our honeymoon. I, however, was not so keen! His excitement soon dwindled when he realised he hadn't a clue how Roulette works and his attention was quickly diverted when something else caught his eye instead. Probably cake. We met our wedding coordinator Lisa Marie at the Malone Lodge Hotel exhibit and had a good natter with her. Looking forward to taking Megan and everyone else down for a nosey at the hotel and the suite to give them all an idea of what we're working with as we're planning the décor.

We managed to pick up lots of flyer's, business cards and catalogues along the way and we entered some competitions too.  Big thanks to Megan who entered me into a competition to win some of the worlds ugliest balloons for my wedding.  As someone who can't stand balloons at weddings, this wasn't much appreciated!!  Once we'd seen everything the 5 of us went for a late lunch/dinner together for a glass or two of wine and a chat before home. It turned out to be a really great day and Michael and I felt even more secure in choosing to elope.  Weddings are cringey as hell - being referred to as "the bride and groom" all day was so strange - we're really not into the whole wedding thing! We still enjoyed having a look around and grabbing some tips. 

Definitely worthwhile!